Archive for the ‘Coaching’ Category
Ever caught yourself asking God what you were to do next? I have.
As I think about the disciples, I do not think they spent a lot of time asking Jesus where are we going? What about our bills? What about our meals? What’s the calendar look like for the next week? No, I think they simply stayed close to and listened to Jesus. They knew that Jesus was the “Way” and the Good Shepherd.
It is often much easier to create a plan than to cultivate a relationship.
You see, the man who walks with God always gets to his destination. When we spend time with the Father, growing our relationship, we simply follow Him where He leads us. There is no need to rush into His throne room asking for directions – darting back out again in all of our busyness.
There is an old hymn that says it like this:
Look full in His wonderful face
And the things of earth will grow strangely dim
In the light of His glory and grace.
Cultivate the relationship.
Have you ever heard the statement that “change is the only constant”? There seems to be an oxymoron in this statement. Nevertheless, think about it – living organisms are growing and changing, and dying things are decaying and changing.
Do you remember the serenity prayer of St Francis? “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
I would add to this: Do not be anxious or worry about the things you can change – it is wasted energy. Just change them. Conversely, do not be anxious or worry about the things that you cannot change – it is wasted energy because you cannot change them!
The Apostle Paul said that he knew what is was like to live large and be in need, and through it all, Christ gave him the ability to handle both ends of the spectrum and all things in between (Phil. 4:11-13). If you know Paul’s story, then you know he went through a bunch of junk. Yet, he is the same guy who told us not to be anxious or worry about things either (Phil. 4:6).
You see, change happens, change is a constant, but anxiety and worry should not be.
God is infinitely holy and powerful. God never changes. You should caste all your cares on God (1 Peter 5:7).
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7, ESV)
I believe in vampires. I do! I’ve seen them! Not necessarily the kind you see on television or at the theatre, but the kind of undead folks that suck the life out of you! You know the kind that sees the gray cloud in every silver lining. They are not fully alive, and want you to be the same way.
Vampires are creatures of the night and darkness. The enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy our lives, hopes, and dreams and those of our loved ones. The Apostle Paul tells us that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, authorities, powers, and spiritual forces. You see, the undead do not associate themselves with light and goodness, except to prey on it.
Just like the undead life-suckers of folklore, those in real life are often invited into our lives with us unaware of the drain and destruction they will eventually bring upon us. That is why it is so important to guard our associations and relationships and establish clear boundaries. You cannot always keep away from them (they may be at your place of work or your family), but you can limit your exposure to them and keep your guard up when you are around them.
Unlike the vampires of folklore, some can be returned to the life of the fully alive. However, most life-suckers are much more accustomed and comfortable to being the victim of another life-sucker that they choose (unknowingly) not to get better. Other vampires can just be mean life-suckers that enjoy their role. In either case, it takes a lot of energy and wisdom in helping them. Most untrained mortals are not up for the task. It should be left to the professional (and I’m not talking about Buffy!).
I must confess that I have been a thief most of my life. For those of you who know me, does that surprise you?
I recently read a piece by Zig Ziglar that says anyone who does not fully believe in themselves and fully utilizes their abilities is stealing from themselves, their loved ones, and because they do not perform to their best, they are stealing from society. A thief – I confess.
This statement was kind of the straw that broke this camel’s back. You see, for some time now there has been a consistent message that I have been ignoring. I am uniquely me – with all my education, experiences, and feelings. There is no one else like me, and so there is no one else that can share my stories, my struggles, my experiences, my life lessons. God has uniquely created me for a purpose that I alone can fulfill.
So…gloves are off. Game on. No more thieveries!
My coaching will no longer look or feel like everyone else’s. You see, I am a Christian and I coach from a Biblical World View. If you cannot handle that – do not call me – you do not want to be my client.
My leadership experiences are not from some classroom case study. I have lead men in combat – real combat. I earned the coveted Combat Infantryman‘s Badge (CIB) in Dessert Storm. I have also earned a Bronze Star Medal and an ARCOM with a “V” device for valor. I know how to lead when the real bullets are flying and there are no do-overs.
I believe leadership begins with you. If you cannot lead yourself well, why do you think you should lead anyone else? If you are grossly overweight and slovenly dressed – you lack personal self-discipline. You see I know a thing or two about the topic of self-discipline too. I have earned a black belt in Shotokan Karate; I am a marathon runner, and an Army Airborne Ranger. That stuff takes personal discipline.
As for education, I have all the letters behind my name to prove my pedigree as well. More importantly, I have been through the school of hard knocks and have degrees in blood, sweat, and tears. I have friends in high and low places, and know what it feels like to have plenty and be broke. I have studied the writings of the great thinkers, leaders, and philosophers, and those of Calvin and Hobbes.
You see, I have a story. There are people who need help and I have a responsibility to them. The world is waiting for me to tell my story and some will continue to suffer until I step over the line and do that.
For now on, as Zig Ziglar would say, “I’m not gonna ease up, let up, shut up, or give up until I’m taken up. As a matter of fact, I’m just getting warmed up.”
So there’s this thief’s confession. What about yours?
People are typically afraid of negative things. Oftentimes they fear self-improvement as well. In psychological self-improvement, the best way for you to remove a fear is to understand that life is always in the cycle of difficulties. No one is permanently up or permanently down. Remember that no one can avoid these difficulties – even the most envied Hollywood stars.
What we should do about these downs is to learn from them and not to avoid them. We should learn how to handle our problems for our own psychological self-improvement. Problems affect us every day. These problems bring us anguish because we have feelings. We should never lose hope in determining solutions to these problems. All we need is to learn how to overcome it and not to be overcome. Read the rest of this entry »
Many individuals wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they are looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with colleagues, and managing difficult situations. If you are one of these individuals, you are not alone. So, what can you do to feel more self-assured about your job? Read the rest of this entry »
Are you an individual who can not seem to properly manage your schedule? If you are having issues at home or at the workplace, there is a good chance that your problems may be caused by your inability to properly manage your time. The good news, however, is that there are a number of steps that you can take to help your time management.
Here are 8 relatively easy steps that you can take that can help you:
1. Know That You Have a Problem
Knowing that you have a time management problem is the first step in changing your behavior. Although it is typical to be late for work or a social event occasionally, it is something that should not be happening on a daily or a weekly basis. If it is, it is time for you to realize that you may have a problem.
Do you need help in making a decision or prompting others to make a decision? If you have not yet experienced it in your career, you can be assured that you will at some point. Truly, this might be part of your daily ritual – not making a decision on the issues that really matter. We all procrastinate on from time to time, but it is important not to confuse procrastination with quality thinking time.
Reflection time is the space we create for ourselves to reflect in quiet, to consider options, benefits and drawbacks before making a decision (and some of the best decisions are often made after a period of tranquility and contemplation), procrastination is more related to … Read the rest of this entry »
It seems everyone is trying to reduce organizational costs and achieve more productivity from their existing resources. I have even heard some say that they cannot afford executive coaching in our current economic environment. Unfortunately, too often executive coaching is seen as a luxury item instead of a necessity. For those organizations that want to propel themselves forward in these challenging times, I would ask how could you afford not to have executive coaching as part of your organizational game plan? Read the rest of this entry »