Archive for the ‘Self-Confidence’ Category
Have you ever heard the statement that “change is the only constant”? There seems to be an oxymoron in this statement. Nevertheless, think about it – living organisms are growing and changing, and dying things are decaying and changing.
Do you remember the serenity prayer of St Francis? “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”
I would add to this: Do not be anxious or worry about the things you can change – it is wasted energy. Just change them. Conversely, do not be anxious or worry about the things that you cannot change – it is wasted energy because you cannot change them!
The Apostle Paul said that he knew what is was like to live large and be in need, and through it all, Christ gave him the ability to handle both ends of the spectrum and all things in between (Phil. 4:11-13). If you know Paul’s story, then you know he went through a bunch of junk. Yet, he is the same guy who told us not to be anxious or worry about things either (Phil. 4:6).
You see, change happens, change is a constant, but anxiety and worry should not be.
God is infinitely holy and powerful. God never changes. You should caste all your cares on God (1 Peter 5:7).
“Casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7, ESV)
I believe in vampires. I do! I’ve seen them! Not necessarily the kind you see on television or at the theatre, but the kind of undead folks that suck the life out of you! You know the kind that sees the gray cloud in every silver lining. They are not fully alive, and want you to be the same way.
Vampires are creatures of the night and darkness. The enemy comes only to steal, kill, and destroy our lives, hopes, and dreams and those of our loved ones. The Apostle Paul tells us that we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, authorities, powers, and spiritual forces. You see, the undead do not associate themselves with light and goodness, except to prey on it.
Just like the undead life-suckers of folklore, those in real life are often invited into our lives with us unaware of the drain and destruction they will eventually bring upon us. That is why it is so important to guard our associations and relationships and establish clear boundaries. You cannot always keep away from them (they may be at your place of work or your family), but you can limit your exposure to them and keep your guard up when you are around them.
Unlike the vampires of folklore, some can be returned to the life of the fully alive. However, most life-suckers are much more accustomed and comfortable to being the victim of another life-sucker that they choose (unknowingly) not to get better. Other vampires can just be mean life-suckers that enjoy their role. In either case, it takes a lot of energy and wisdom in helping them. Most untrained mortals are not up for the task. It should be left to the professional (and I’m not talking about Buffy!).
I must confess that I have been a thief most of my life. For those of you who know me, does that surprise you?
I recently read a piece by Zig Ziglar that says anyone who does not fully believe in themselves and fully utilizes their abilities is stealing from themselves, their loved ones, and because they do not perform to their best, they are stealing from society. A thief – I confess.
This statement was kind of the straw that broke this camel’s back. You see, for some time now there has been a consistent message that I have been ignoring. I am uniquely me – with all my education, experiences, and feelings. There is no one else like me, and so there is no one else that can share my stories, my struggles, my experiences, my life lessons. God has uniquely created me for a purpose that I alone can fulfill.
So…gloves are off. Game on. No more thieveries!
My coaching will no longer look or feel like everyone else’s. You see, I am a Christian and I coach from a Biblical World View. If you cannot handle that – do not call me – you do not want to be my client.
My leadership experiences are not from some classroom case study. I have lead men in combat – real combat. I earned the coveted Combat Infantryman‘s Badge (CIB) in Dessert Storm. I have also earned a Bronze Star Medal and an ARCOM with a “V” device for valor. I know how to lead when the real bullets are flying and there are no do-overs.
I believe leadership begins with you. If you cannot lead yourself well, why do you think you should lead anyone else? If you are grossly overweight and slovenly dressed – you lack personal self-discipline. You see I know a thing or two about the topic of self-discipline too. I have earned a black belt in Shotokan Karate; I am a marathon runner, and an Army Airborne Ranger. That stuff takes personal discipline.
As for education, I have all the letters behind my name to prove my pedigree as well. More importantly, I have been through the school of hard knocks and have degrees in blood, sweat, and tears. I have friends in high and low places, and know what it feels like to have plenty and be broke. I have studied the writings of the great thinkers, leaders, and philosophers, and those of Calvin and Hobbes.
You see, I have a story. There are people who need help and I have a responsibility to them. The world is waiting for me to tell my story and some will continue to suffer until I step over the line and do that.
For now on, as Zig Ziglar would say, “I’m not gonna ease up, let up, shut up, or give up until I’m taken up. As a matter of fact, I’m just getting warmed up.”
So there’s this thief’s confession. What about yours?
People are typically afraid of negative things. Oftentimes they fear self-improvement as well. In psychological self-improvement, the best way for you to remove a fear is to understand that life is always in the cycle of difficulties. No one is permanently up or permanently down. Remember that no one can avoid these difficulties – even the most envied Hollywood stars.
What we should do about these downs is to learn from them and not to avoid them. We should learn how to handle our problems for our own psychological self-improvement. Problems affect us every day. These problems bring us anguish because we have feelings. We should never lose hope in determining solutions to these problems. All we need is to learn how to overcome it and not to be overcome. Read the rest of this entry »
Many individuals wish they felt more secure about their abilities on the job. In other words, they are looking for increased self-confidence when it comes to performing the work, dealing with colleagues, and managing difficult situations. If you are one of these individuals, you are not alone. So, what can you do to feel more self-assured about your job? Read the rest of this entry »