Executive Coaching and Foggy Mirrors

Foggy MirrorExecutive coaching can help remove the fog from your mirror so you can see yourself as others see you. No, I am not talking about literally entering your home and cleaning your mirrors. What I am talking about is helping you see yourself (and your circumstances) as others see you; helping you identify your strengths and challenges, and helping you move toward more clearly defined and preferred outcomes. Sometimes even our best attempts to remove the fog are less than 100% effective and we still do not get an accurate picture of ourselves.

We’ve all done it at least once. We get ready to go somewhere, and after having that last glance in the looking glass having gazed upon an elegantly coiffured image, we walk away only to have someone point out something we’ve missed. Usually after we are made aware of the discovery, we wonder how many others noticed it and did not say anything. We wonder where our real friends are. We may even have feelings of embarrassment or indignation.

This happens in the realm of business as well. It can be caused by fog on a mirror or by our own personal biases that blind us. It usually takes a trusted and secure associate to make us aware of the issue. But what if people do not feel safe enough around us to speak the whole truth to us? We continue in the fog, making decisions based on inaccurate information, and become frustrated because we never achieve the desired results.

Executive coaches can be the objective third party that cares enough about you and your organization that they present you with the truth about yourself. Through the use of tools like the Johari window, executive coaches are able to help improve the client’s self-awareness. As we become more receptive to constructive criticism, we then become able to grow and improve the organization and ourselves. We have recently seen this concept demonstrated in the “Under Cover Boss” episodes.

The late Mr. Jim Rohn once wrote, “We could all use a little coaching.” Executive coaches, who are armed with the proper tools, can help remove the fog from your mirrors and help you better see yourself. This more self-aware leader is more productive, less stressed, and more amiable in the workplace. So the next time you are feel you are not getting the real feedback, or see people shying away from you, or you have a surprising and embarrassing revelation about leadership, ask yourself if you think an executive coach could have helped clear the fog and prevented it from occurring.

Related Posts with Thumbnails
Posted in Executive coaching and tagged , , .

26 Comments

  1. An outside viewpoint can be so helpful to support your business. Open, honest feedback serves a wonderful purpose.

    Thanks for sharing,
    Val
    .-= Val Wilcox´s last blog ..The Power of YOU! =-.

  2. Thank you for bringing this up. I am one for coaching. People don’t realize that whatever you walk of life, you always need a tune-up in any profession. Coaching is important because, like you said, others see you differently than you see yourself. Thank you for bringing this up. It is useful to so many people!
    .-= Donna Merrill´s last blog ..11 Steps to Cultivate Your Internet Marketing =-.

  3. Great post, Dr. John! I especially like that you present coaching as a desirable, developmental process rather than a punitive, ‘fix’ for people who are broken! I’m a coach and think everyone who is open to growth and fulfillment could benefit from coaching!

    I love your content! Thanks.

  4. Extremely interesting post thanks for writing it I have added your website to my bookmarks and will check back 🙂 By the way this is a little off subject but I really like your sites layout.

  5. Jennifer,

    Thank you for your comments. I just wish I could use it as one of my clients testimonials! Coaching can be a very powerful tool for moving us toward our preferred future. Thanks and Blessings!

    ~John

  6. Val,

    I agree. As I tell all my clients and prospective clients – an ‘objective third party who has a vested interest in your success is always helpful.’ I know that it has been in my life.

    Thank you for your comments.

    Blessings,

    ~John

  7. Donna,

    I love the statement – “With only one exception, the entire world consists of others.” So should not it make sense for us all to understand how to better relate, play, and work with others?

    Thanks for your comments.

    Blessings,

    ~John

  8. Krista,

    Thank you for your kind words and comments. Like you mentioned, there have been numerous times my close friends or coach has helped me see something that may have become a self-sabotaging habit.

    Blessings,

    ~John

  9. Gregory,

    Thanks for your kind words – both for my post and site layout. I have done / am doing the site myself. It is a work in progress.

    Blessings,

    ~John

  10. Cindy,

    Thank you for your kind words. I agree, for those unfamiliar with coaching, it can be a mysterious process. People can often confuse coaching with counseling and consulting. Further more, people often misunderstand ‘discipline’ as a punitive action when it really comes from the word ‘disciple’ which means ‘to instruct or learn.’ Anyway, enough etymology stuff.

    Thanks again & Blessings,

    ~John

  11. Garret,

    Thanks for your testimony to the positive outcomes associated with coaching! Wishing you only the best in life and leadership.

    Blessings,

    ~John

  12. Wow Debbie,

    Thank you for your affirming words regarding coaching. Wishing you continued success!

    Blessings,

    ~John

  13. Matthew,

    Thank you for your affirming words. Like you, the successful persons I know all have engaged mentors/coaches of some kind.

    Thanks & Blessings,

    ~John

  14. Why has it taken me so long to get here Dr. John!? 🙂 Love your site, love the layout, love this particular post as it’s the only one I’ve read so far and love the good Doctor himself.

    Looking for testimonials on your coaching site as I could add one of my own when you coached me after my son returned from war. You were an awesome help for me and you’ll be happy to know he and I are doing FABU! So there you have it.

    From one coach to another, I’d say you nailed what we do in this post quite adequately. Thank you!
    .-= Kellie Frazier´s last blog ..Do You Know Your Purpose? Try This Short Exercise to See if You Know. =-.

  15. John,

    Thanks for the post. I have learned the best way to evaluate managers (myself being one) is during a crisis or when the “Mirrors are foggy”. Anyone can lead well during times or ease or clarity. It takes guts, good decision making and lack of regard for your career to truly lead well. After being an employee for 21 years with the same company I took a leap of faith and went on to become a manager. The work is even harder than I imagined and the decisions come faster and often with no precedents to fall back on. I have been blessed so far with an outstanding boss who gives me leeway and outstanding results. Most importantly those who I have had the opportunity to lead gave me their best efforts. “We were soldiers” is one of my favorite movies and their are tons of leadership lessons in that movie.

  16. Hey John, great perspective on coaching and reflection as well.

    I sometimes wish I had a live in coach 24/7. So many times I’m going down a certain path (like a sudden realization yesterday with my blog) and then all of a sudden, maybe a week later, I just click!

    The click will come so much sooner if someone who knows you well enough can just point it out! 🙂

    Anyway, even coaches have coaches. Great insight John!

  17. Kellie,

    Thank you for your kind words. Glad to hear things are going well.

    Blessings,

    ~John

  18. George,

    Thank you for your comments. Your are correct about “even coaches have coaches.” My inspiration for the article came during a coaching Mastermind group that I attend.

    Blessings,

    ~John

  19. Hey Dr. John great article. I love finding coaches to help guide me through difficult parts of my business. There are people who have been there and are where I ultimately want to be, so why not have them help guide me?

    Having a personal coach is an excellent way to break through barriers and become better than we are. I seem to learn a ton by reading about people’s experiences and learning from their mistakes (although I still make plenty of mistakes)

    Do you consider some of your personal friends as coaches? I mean, I’ve learned a TON through the experiences of some of my friends, although i’ve never really looked at them as coaches before… maybe everyone we meet is a coach for us in some way or another?

    Keep it up!
    -Chris Hughes

  20. Andrew,

    Socrates stated that “The unexamined life is not worth living.” Sounds like a great promo line for coaching!

    Thanks for stopping by. Looking forward to more dialogue!

    Blessings,

    ~John

  21. Chris,

    Thanks for your comments! It appears you have experienced first-hand the benefits of coaching.

    Yes, I do have some friends that encourage me along and hold me accountable. It’s the whole “iron sharpens iron” concept. And you hit on a great point – we should choose our friends carefully!

    Thanks again for your comments. I hope you come around again!

    Blessings,

    ~John

  22. Hey John, great perspective on coaching and reflection as well.

    I sometimes wish I had a live in coach 24/7. So many times I’m going down a certain path (like a sudden realization yesterday with my blog) and then all of a sudden, maybe a week later, I just click!

    The click will come so much sooner if someone who knows you well enough can just point it out! 🙂

    Anyway, even coaches have coaches. Great insight John!

  23. Robin,

    Sometime people and organizations get stuck in a rut and need a new set of eyes to see things differently and re-frame reality for them. I have learned though that people are reluctant to change until they hurt bad enough or want to bad enough. So most people and businesses just go through life until a crisis of belief comes along. It is the same idea of performing maintenance on your auto or waiting until it is broken. We think we will save money by postponing maintenance, but it eventually costs more when things break down.

    Blessings,

    ~John

Comments are closed.